Blown Away

It's only been a little more than a year that I have been following after Him seriously. But in those few short months, there have been so many times in which I have been blown away by God. Things that might seem commonplace or not important to others, have been messages or answers by God. For example, I was going to get lunch one morning at the dining hall and I was feeling completely bewildered and alone, like God wasn't with me at all. I said a quiet prayer while I was walking up the staircase, "please God, just show me you're with me. I want to feel your presence, to feel that you are here with me instead of just knowing." As soon as I got to the top of the stairs, Bon Jovi's "I'll Be There for You" started playing in my head. I didn't even realize the significance of it until I was through the lunch line and filling up my glass. I had a "facepalm" moment just then when I carefully went through the lyrics in my head:

I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what love can do
I'll be there for you

...I'll be the water when you get thirsty, baby
When you get drunk, I'll be the wine

When I realized what God was saying to me, I wanted to tear up. I hadn't heard or thought about this song in ages, and it suddenly popped into my mind at such a pivitol moment... God is amazing.

Some might say, "oh, that's a coincidence. You probably heard the song playing in the background somewhere and it stuck in your mind." Well, that might be true, but why then did I suddenly hear it in my mind only after praying that prayer? It is truly wonderful.

Anyway, the real reason I felt compelled to write this afternoon about this certain topic is because of what my cousin sent me last night.

After I had finished writing my first post here, I walked away from my computer and was feeling pretty happy about my decision to make this blog. But then something hit me. I was unsure if there was any purpose to it. "Who's going to read it? What if no one ever does? Will I lose interest?" I also then began to doubt my talents and asked God to show me what makes me so beautiful, if that's the case.

When I got to bed, I was getting ready to snuggle up and read my New Moon book. But before I started reading, I decided to check for any e-mail I might have gotten on my phone. (Internet on my phone is really very handy!) Good thing I checked... My cousin sent me an e-mail. It sent panic through my body.

"I was in the mammo office and got the pictures taken, then told to wait. They come back and took more and told me to wait in the cubby you change in.
I could hear the Doctor dictate his findings. He was saying there is cancer in the right breast. That is what I was there for-the right.
My heart started to beat fast and I could feel myself silently freak out. I was waiting forever. They finally took me for the sono. They won't tell you if your ok. So she said she was going to get the Dr. He was doing a biopsy.
This song came on (No one by Alicia Keyes). She sang the words- Everything's gonna be all right. A peace from God came over me. Praise the Lord he uses words of a song to minister to us. Of course the Dr. comes in and said everything looks good.

That is why your writing is so important and God given and your purpose in life. You never know when the Lord will use your words to speak to someone."

I couldn't contain myself when I read the last two paragraphs. Not only did God use a song to comfort my cousin like He had for me, but through her story and her words, He confirmed the purpose of my life and the talent He has given me. It is ironic that my cousin's words were used to speak to me, when she was telling me that my words could be used to speak to someone. God has blown me away yet again, in such a timely manner. Praise God for His unfailing love and beautiful heart!! I am in love with my Savior.

God's Lesson Plan

Most of the blogs I have started in the past, had a definite purpose -- that is, I had a good picture of what I wanted to put in it. I'm not saying that this blog is completely directionless or uninspired, it's just... up to God. Whatever I may come across in God's word, whatever He may show me at any moment that sparks inspiration and contemplation, I will write about.

For too long I have been ignoring what, I believe, I was put on earth to do -- write. Why would anyone ignore a talent God himself has bestowed upon them? It's like a bird never flying, or Da Vinci never painting a single masterpiece. I am far from any Da Vinci, but I believe I should use what I have, and that is writing.

My mom is a teacher. (I get annoyed writing that sentence because I have heard her use "I'm a teacher" for too many excuses and reasons for why she can't do something.) Every week, she has to plan out what she wants to accomplish for the next week with her kids. She has to be thorough and thoughtful; she has to know how her kids will behave during the activities that she has them do; she must take into account the way they learn; and she must first and foremost have an idea of what is best for them.

God is a teacher too. He has a plan for each and every one of us. He knows how we will react, how we need to learn certain lessons, what we need and don't need, and He knows what is best for us. This blog, I feel, will be a way to map out His lesson plan for me -- a way to see what I am learning, how I am growing, and what lessons I've learned. It's like my mom's students trying to peek at her lesson plans, trying to find out her objectives. Luckily, in my case, I don't have to sneak around. My teacher is gracious and willing to tell me exactly what He wants me to know.

I hope this blog is not one that I forget about or leave unwritten. I think that through all the years of my blogging, I haven't had a subject quite as important as this.

What does God have in store this week? I can't wait to write in my lesson plan.