My Rut, His Promises.

On Sunday, I had the very wonderful privilege of going to my home church. It had been awhile since I've been there, and frankly, I really missed the pastor, congregation, and walking those red velvet carpets. I knew God was calling me to go to church that specific Sunday because I had made a promise to him to spend time with him on a daily basis, and it wasn't happening. I believe that God decided to call out to me and show me just how important He is and how He knows that I am in a rut, and it is fixable.

Through the service, I discovered that the only way that I am ever going to grow spiritually and be close to Jesus is if I spend time with him on a daily basis. Of course, I knew that's what I should be doing, but I never quite figured that I would grow from that kind of quality time. Growing spiritually is something that I feel God pushing me to do. I am ready to move on from my irresponsible relationship with God, and I'm ready to hear from him and receive counsel from Him.

After God revealed His will for me, I then realized what I had known for a long time. The rut. What is keeping me from chatting with God? Why aren't I spending time in the Word like I should be? The sermon revealed that it could many reasons why I am not growing and doing what I should be: emotional issues, too many responsibilities, and spiritual growth being low on my list of priorities. I didn't just pick one of these, I couldn't. I picked them all. It is true, I have so many responisbilities and it's a low priority. But what about the emotional part of it? Should that matter? You bet. Personally, when I am going through something emotionally straining, I tend to feel far from God. I try my best to pray and get in His Word, but in all honesty, I get mad with God for allowing some of these things from happening. All three reasons fit.

Pastor Mark asked for an altar call, and I went up. I wanted to be "unstuck." I wanted to get out of the rut that was holding me back from God. Why would I let this world keep me away from my Savior? What a joke! I was prayed for -- to become unstuck and to run into God's fatherly arms, which are always, always open to me. When I began to sing along with the others, I sat with my eyes closed and just worshiped. God spoke loudly and directly, "Don't give up," he shouted four times. "Don't give up." Such strong words broke down my walls. God then promised to show me through the next week that He is with me. I was filled with hope and joy.

You may be thinking, "boy that's a nice church story, what are you trying to say?"

I'm telling you that God has fulfilled His promise.
Monday, I had never felt so content in my life. There I was in the midst of academic chaos, illness, and anxiety. He provided me with a sense of peace and contentment.
Tuesday, I has a very scary task ahead of me. My anxiety and social awkwardness threatened to take over, but singing to God, "everything is a lesser thing, compared to you," over and over helped me defeat what could have been a very embarrassing conversation. He showed me that through Him, all things are possible; that God did not give me a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of self-control - 2 Timothy 1:7.
Wednesday, I started to feel lonely and began to beat myself up for not being up to par. But then God came through. He has sent me such a wonderful friend with whom I can be myself and know that she likes me for just who I am. I spent hours with her just talking about everything and nothing, totally excited to have seen her. God provided me with friendship and love.
Thursday (today), God provided me with a confidence that I couldn't expect from myself. No self-doubt, but belief that I could succeed and faith that I am who He wants me to be.

Amen. God is so good, he always fulfills his promises. I believe that through this, I will be able to break out of the rut and begin a new relationship with Him. Like He said, I will never be the same.

Break out of your rut! Truly commit yourself to a relationship with Him. He is waiting to hear from you!