Waking the Dead

"The glory of God is man fully alive." - Saint Irenaeus.

I am currently reading Waking the Dead by John Eldredge and Craig McConnell. It is a book about embracing the life God has for each one of us. Whether you are a Christian or not, Eldredge & McConnell make convincing arguments about why we live the way we do and what we can do to live life to the fullest by following God's will for us.

With their help, readers venture into why life is the way it is. We understand that it is a battle we are fighting, or really that God is fighting on our behalf. We must "arm" ourselves. Prepare for battle. Expect hardship but know that we have already won.

I have not finished the book yet, but I can tell you that this is a book worth reading. Eldredge and McConnell are both candid in their writing. They admit thoughts and feelings about God and life throughout the book (and the guidebook) so that it is easier for their readers to understand and relate to the issues brought up.

I am excited to continue reading because I've heard this book is life changing. It is about awakening your broken heart to a full life. Can you imagine the life you could be living if you allowed yourself to become who God planned you to be? I hope you'll consider reading this book and possibly doing the challenging task of completing the guidebook along with it.

Grade: A+

I've Insulted God, I'm sure.

You know how many times I have doubted God? Doubted that He was going to help me? Doubted He was really on my side? So many. So many that I'm sure God was a little bit insulted.

I say this in jest because I know he never tires of hearing our complaints and listening to our doubts. But if God is like any parent, I know that if my child was doubting my love for him or her, I'd be a little hurt too.

I realized this yesterday when I finally got to visit my church in Athens. I had been through so much crap this summer. My mom going through surgical procedures, many visits to the doctors, our constant fighting; I've moved out, moved in, moved back out again; I've been loved, hated, and loved again; gotten back with and broken up with... my heart has been broken a thousand times over this summer. What I knew, if anything, is that I was emotionally far from God. I knew He was there with me. I knew He was helping me... but my heart didn't agree.

I was excited to get to church to get to the bottom of things. To just pour out my spirit and have Him fill me. I wasn't sure what to expect. I hadn't been there in about 3 months. But I prayed that God speak to me loud and clear. (My close family was praying for this as well) I thought it'd be nice to hear from God. It's something that I needed, but I wasn't expecting it. I was doubting that God was actually on my side. Perhaps punishing me for all that I've done out of disobedience. It's not so.

Toward the end of service, the pastor opened up the altar for those who need prayer. Being who I am and what I've been though, I went up. I wasn't sure what to expect. I just knew I'd cry. I'm so emotional. I'd probably cry if you scolded me for making a mess.
I didn't know that I'd cry that hard. I let it all out. Sobbing. I don't know exactly what came over me but I couldn't stop. When it was all over with, I felt calm but unsatisfied. I wanted desperately to hear from God. With everything in me, I wanted it. Nothing else in the world mattered to me at that point.

When I got back to my seat, everyone was leaving. My church is pretty lax before and after service. They open up the sanctuary for intercession/prayer/worship. While the band was still playing I just got on my knees and prayed in earnest. I noticed that a strange lady with the flags was waving them over me for quite some time. I'm not sure what flags have to do with worship, but to each her own, right? It was weird but I just kept praying. When she left, I got up and went for the door calmly and a bit tired from all the emotional crap.

Before I reached for the handle, someone tapped my shoulder. I turned and it was the strange flag lady. She said in a soft voice that God impressed feelings about me to her.

She told me just how MUCH He loves me and He can see the passion and fire within me to be with Him and near Him; How He is SO proud of me like a father at his daughter's recital. She told me that He sees my hurt and brokenness and He weeps over me, that like unlike a father who sits back and allows things to happen to his daughter, He is spinning with violent emotion over me to protect me as my Warrior and Healer. He doesn't keep a list of the times I slipped up or messed up, He only sees me with incredible love.

I was extremely blown away. Everything she said sent off bells in my head. A checklist was being checked off as she spoke to me. Everything she said was no doubt from MY God.

Then Georgette, that's her name, told me to look up Zephaniah 3:17:

"The LORD your God is with you,
the Mighty Warrior who saves.
He will take great delight in you;
He will quiet you with his love,
He will rejoice over you with singing."

Praise God. I am so in love with my Creator. He loves me with all His heart, like no one else. He is protecting me, fighting a battle for me, loving me and taking great delight in me as my Father.
How stupid was I to assume he was getting pleasure from watching me squirm in my sorrow? God is not like that. He does not punish us to make us pay. He loves each and every one of us for who we are, no matter our short comings. We are His children, whom he fights hard to save.

Don't be like me and think God is not on your side, because He is. He is the only one who will always be on your side, wanting all of you, crying when you are hurt and rejoicing with you when you succeed.

Seek him earnestly and He will answer.