Love Can Come To Everyone

I made a split second decision to head to the beach tonight. My windows rolled down and the summer wind rushing past my skin was enough to convince me to miss my turn home.

When I arrived there, all I could do was look up at the stars. I still haven't been able to get used to how many you can see here on the East End--and I don't want to. I got out of my car and sat down on a long wooden bench and just stared up toward the sky.

But then I started to think about my week...my terrible, horrible, no good, very bad...but victorious and amazing week (which I will write about this weekend).

Instead of getting caught up in my own feelings about it, I decided to focus on the calm surrounding me.
For the first time in awhile I really took it in: "Wow, look where I am. Look where God's brought me. You may be at the edge of all you know Shaye, but the world continues."

At this point a chill ran down my spine. "Thank you, God. How could I ever, ever take this for granted?"

I live in such an inspiring and beautiful place, and God knew the desire of my heart and brought me here. "Thank you, God."

The second I ended my thought, a shooting star streaked across the sky directly in front of me, as if God were hearing me and responding with another gift.

When I got back into my car to finally go home, I turned my iPod back on and the Ink Spots's "The Best Things in Life" came on and I laughed because I could not believe it.

"The moon belongs to everyone

The stars belong to everyone

The best things in life are free

They gleam there for you and me

The flowers in spring

The robins that sing

The sunbeams that shine

They're yours, they're mine

And love can come to everyone

The best things in life are free"

And you know what else is free?

God's loving grace.

My Side of the Bargain

It's been nearly six years since I began seriously following Jesus...and it has be a phenomenal six years. I won't recount every blessing he's bestowed upon me because they're too numerous and too BIG to write with my useless little words.

But what I can say is that my love for Him has grown stronger and hasn't waned. God, no matter how far I push myself away from him in sin and disbelief, always comes for me. His arms never close to me.

His blessings have been overflowing since I took a small leap of faith in November 2010 and January 2011. Overflowing -- meaning never-ending, surprising and overwhelming. I've been brought to the place where I'm supposed to be, and I can say that with not an ounce of doubt. How many people can say that they are where they're supposed to be? How many can say they are exactly where God wants them?
I count myself extremely blessed for being able to say and know that I am. I feel spoiled by my Father.

But now that I've reached this place and I've begun a new life, one He's given to me, I'm beginning to feel...ready.

What for?

I'm not sure. But my question to God is, "What will you have me do?"

I've always said I was ready to do God's will for my life -- but it wasn't until Friday that I started getting a burning in my chest to do good for God...whatever that means.

Friday I drove in to New York City to go to The Gate, Times Square Church's youth meeting. The sermon was about how God is good, all the time, through all our sorrows -- a very hard concept to grasp when bad things are happening all around us. He reminded me that God wants to do good toward us, he delights in us. He loves us.
And again, I was reminded that the reason we are here, the point to life, is to love one another and share God's love with others...to do good to others.

It hit me then, "what am I doing with my life?" Day in and day out, I worry and worry and work and work, but what am I doing for God? What am I doing in the grand scheme of things?

In the end, none of what I worry about matters. Everything is of Him and for Him. I am literally nothing without Him... I am weak and scared, but only through Him I have found strength and confidence. When I go after His heart, everything falls into place. He provides all I need.

I realized that night that I haven't been reaching out to others...and it is time. Maybe it wasn't supposed to happen until now. Maybe I had to get to this place where I am relatively stable and have some ground here.

What will you have me do, Lord? It's time to fulfill my side of the bargain.

God, help me. I'm so weak.

Thank you for coming to me through her song, Lord. Thank you for telling me you're here, through whatever this is. God I need you. Please continue to meet me. Please help me climb out of this. Please Lord, I have such sorrow in my soul...I don't know why. Please help me carve it out.

Live Your Story

Have you ever wanted to fight for what you believe in, to carry a quest so important that all rely upon you to complete it? Haven't you wished that life was actually more than it seems?

Why do we love stories like Lord of the Rings, The Chronicles of Narnia, Braveheart and The Patriot? It's because we all long to be a part of something bigger, something so important it trumps all else. Working at an office, going grocery shopping and cleaning the bathroom are so insignificant yet we take them as main responsibilities. There is no big story, there is no cause to fight for... or so we think.

How many times have you imagined yourself in the place of Frodo Baggins? What about Harry Potter or Hermione? Even Spock or Captain Picard of the U.S.S. Enterprise? All of these characters have a destiny to carry out, even if it means death.

Where did this fascination and love for these stories come from? Maybe we are made for more.

C.S. Lewis author of The Chronicles of Narnia, wrote "If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world."

Lewis created new lands, new races, and new stories because he believed that the human race was made for more. We weren't made to stress out over taxes and our next promotion. These things are insignificant compared to what we should be committed to. With a fallen world, our destinies have become less than noteworthy. Most of us are just happy to make it through a day of work. Many just want to leave the world having made it a little better than when they arrived.

What is important to you? Is there something you would fight for?

I feel God is calling us to live an epic life. One that gets our heart racing, a life that causes others to know that we are doing something big. Imagine a world where people don't sit on the couch but get up and carry out their promises, dreams and quests.

We don't have to slay Ringwraiths or defeat He-who-must-not-be-named. I challenge you to find something you truly believe in and go after it.

I believe God wants us to be who we were meant to be. I don't want to be caught up in this world and miss my chance for an epic adventure. I want to live it. I want to carry out His will and be part of something bigger than myself. I want to be my own Frodo. I have a destiny to fulfill and a job to do.

Answer the call in your heart. It's there, and you feel it when you hear stories. You were meant for more.

Thank you and a prayer

God,

Thank You so much for Your unbelievable goodness. Even in my overwhelmed and constricting mind, You do not cease to amaze me. You let your presence be known through Your beauty, quietly telling me, "I'm here, I'm here." Even the breeze through the leaves, the sunshine reflecting off the water, and the people You've given me to speak with, I feel You here with me. "Thank you" does not seem to express the gratitude I have for your kindness and love. How do you know all these things about me? Why do you give me wonderful things when what I've done is despicable? That's right... you're God. My loving, never-failing, powerful, awesome God.

I am going through such a hard time right now, God. I need your help. I can't do this on my own. There's too much to do and no time to do it. I have not been able to enjoy myself. I have not been able to love on you as much as I've wanted to. All the reading, the writing, the contemplating, the interviewing, the incessant worrying about internships, jobs, grades, relationships, I can't take much more. Please help me get through it if there cannot be a break. Jesus I need You. You said that whenever we call on Your name You will come to our rescue. I need Your rescue. I'm Your damsel in distress. You're my Knight in shining armor. I'm waiting, I'm praying, I'm willing to go where You take me. Please come to my rescue soon. I love you.

Shaye.

Prayer

God,

I know I haven't been a good daughter lately. I think that's one of my worst flaws. I never spend enough time with you. I don't read Your Word with You, I don't talk with You, and I don't worship You like I used to. Instead, I quickly say "thank you" when things work out well, I sing a song here and there, and I even bought a new Bible to encourage myself.

What is it that is keeping me at a distance? Is it lack of time? My incessant reading, my never-ending work list? I still think that I could do better. I shouldn't have to squeeze You in, You deserve SO much more than that.

Whatever it is God, help me to find the time and have the desire to come closer to You. Help me, like you always have to. Like you always want to. Like you always have.

I love you.


Shaye

Almost a Year

It's almost been a year since I've started this blog, and I am very proud of myself and grateful to God that I've learned so much in a year.

As soon as I can spare some time, I'm going to write a nice long entry.

Thank you all for reading my blog and keeping an open mind and loving heart.

<3 Shaye