I've realized something. Even through the rough waves that knock me over in life, even through the dark, shadowed pain I've gone through...my life is truly beautiful.
I was jogging today in the cold. I had underestimated the wind's wrath against my skin and was surprised when I found myself shivering and clinging to what warmth my jacket provided me. I stopped and figured, "now would be a good time to turn around and go back in." But I didn't. I forced myself to walk. I just kept going. If I had turned around, I wouldn't have accomplished my goal for that day -- to exercise, just a little bit. I would have gone right back inside and would have gone on in my comfort, warm and complacent.
Freezing as I was, I jogged up the hill and reached the top breathless. Oh, how I wanted warmth. How I craved to be back in my bed with the covers up over my head.
The sun. I felt warm. At the top of the hill, the sun was shining so brightly and so radiantly that it was literally like standing on the beach. I stood still. So warm. Standing in the sun's light, I was reluctant to leave it's comfort. Why on earth would I want to continue on in the shade's cold thrashing.
Why on earth would any one want to live on in such coldness? Where life is bleak and hopeless? Where the light is lacking?
My Light comforts me in the midst of the chill. He takes care of me when I need to find shelter. His warmth caresses my cheeks when I begin to think there is no where to hide. I praise God for making this world so beautiful and so full of wonderful moments. I praise God for taking care of me in every single way. I praise God for His Son!
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Patience
Throughout my life, I've always thought of myself as a patient person. I was always o.k. with waiting, not antsy, and generally expected that I'd have to wait for whatever I needed to get. The older I got, the idea that I was patient grew less and less true. I found myself getting all huffy about waiting for too long and generally avoided it at all costs. Once I visited New York City, I don't believe my patience level has ever been the same. I found myself yelling at the cars around me in Cobb to go faster, 'what's the hold up!?'
But the patience I'm talking about right now is not the kind you need to have in line or behind the wheel. It's the patience you must have with God.
If anyone knows about waiting on God, it's me. I cannot tell you just how long I've waited for a certain situation to be resolved. I've tried to solve it on my own, with nothing to show for it; I've tried to use other people's advice, it was useless. It wasn't until I started really listening to God that I heard Him say, "wait."
I struggled with this idea. "Wait? How much longer should I wait? I've been waiting for so long already to be done with this!" But God continued to say, "wait on me."
Even now, in my waiting, my feelings and resolve has been flung back and forth like a yo-yo. What could possibly be done by waiting? What if it is never solved the way I want or need it to be?
God has it under control. Even when we think nothing is happening, God is fighting a battle for us. God will reward us for waiting on Him.
Psalm 37:7-9 says, "Rest in the Lord and be willing to wait for Him. Do not trouble yourself when all goes well with the one who carries out his sinful plans. Stop being angry. Turn away from fighting. Do not trouble yourself. It leads only to wrong-doing. For those who do wrong will be cut off. But those who wait for the Lord will be given the earth."
In my waiting and my troubles, I've grown into an angry person. I cannot continue to harbor feelings of anger or bitterness. It's not something I'm used to or something that I want. I need to have faith in God and wait on Him, and trust that He is on my side fighting.
Hebrews 10:36 says, "You must be willing to wait without giving up. After you have done what God wants you to do, God will give you what he promised you."
Amen. We cannot give up. I have given up once before, and it led me to sin. I can't tell you just how disappointed I was in myself. If I had just kept on being persistent in my waiting on God, instead of rebelling and giving up, maybe I would be farther along than I am now. But because I will not give up now, I have faith that God will deliver what was promised to me.
And of course, Romans 5: 3-4. It's funny, before I even started to think about patience and waiting, one of my friends on Facebook posted this verse on his status. That is when I began to really think about what it means to be patient with God.
"We are glad for our troubles also. We know that troubles help us learn not to give up. When we have learned not to give up, it shows we have stood the test. When we have stood the test, it gives us hope."
Because I know I cannot give up, I have 'stood the test.' There is hope. In waiting for God and having faith in Him, believing without giving up and giving in, there is hope.
Jeremiah 29:11 is one of those verses that everyone recites, but I feel like God has told it to me over and over again. So much so that it's annoying when I hear it, yet still comforting.
"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"
I may not be the most patient person in the world by any means, but I know what it is to wait for God and to trust in Him. It may be the hardest thing for one to do, but oh, it is so worth it.
But the patience I'm talking about right now is not the kind you need to have in line or behind the wheel. It's the patience you must have with God.
If anyone knows about waiting on God, it's me. I cannot tell you just how long I've waited for a certain situation to be resolved. I've tried to solve it on my own, with nothing to show for it; I've tried to use other people's advice, it was useless. It wasn't until I started really listening to God that I heard Him say, "wait."
I struggled with this idea. "Wait? How much longer should I wait? I've been waiting for so long already to be done with this!" But God continued to say, "wait on me."
Even now, in my waiting, my feelings and resolve has been flung back and forth like a yo-yo. What could possibly be done by waiting? What if it is never solved the way I want or need it to be?
God has it under control. Even when we think nothing is happening, God is fighting a battle for us. God will reward us for waiting on Him.
Psalm 37:7-9 says, "Rest in the Lord and be willing to wait for Him. Do not trouble yourself when all goes well with the one who carries out his sinful plans. Stop being angry. Turn away from fighting. Do not trouble yourself. It leads only to wrong-doing. For those who do wrong will be cut off. But those who wait for the Lord will be given the earth."
In my waiting and my troubles, I've grown into an angry person. I cannot continue to harbor feelings of anger or bitterness. It's not something I'm used to or something that I want. I need to have faith in God and wait on Him, and trust that He is on my side fighting.
Hebrews 10:36 says, "You must be willing to wait without giving up. After you have done what God wants you to do, God will give you what he promised you."
Amen. We cannot give up. I have given up once before, and it led me to sin. I can't tell you just how disappointed I was in myself. If I had just kept on being persistent in my waiting on God, instead of rebelling and giving up, maybe I would be farther along than I am now. But because I will not give up now, I have faith that God will deliver what was promised to me.
And of course, Romans 5: 3-4. It's funny, before I even started to think about patience and waiting, one of my friends on Facebook posted this verse on his status. That is when I began to really think about what it means to be patient with God.
"We are glad for our troubles also. We know that troubles help us learn not to give up. When we have learned not to give up, it shows we have stood the test. When we have stood the test, it gives us hope."
Because I know I cannot give up, I have 'stood the test.' There is hope. In waiting for God and having faith in Him, believing without giving up and giving in, there is hope.
Jeremiah 29:11 is one of those verses that everyone recites, but I feel like God has told it to me over and over again. So much so that it's annoying when I hear it, yet still comforting.
"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"
I may not be the most patient person in the world by any means, but I know what it is to wait for God and to trust in Him. It may be the hardest thing for one to do, but oh, it is so worth it.
Friday, December 26, 2008
Christmas is Over
This is a bit late but...
Praise GOD for sending His Son Jesus. I couldn't imagine a more wonderful Gift than He.
Praise GOD for sending His Son Jesus. I couldn't imagine a more wonderful Gift than He.
Friday, December 12, 2008
The Bright Beautiful Moon
Before I sat down to type this, I was out getting groceries for my week. When I came out of Kroger, I noticed that low in the sky was the most beautiful moon I have ever seen, so mysterious yet so humongous. I climbed into my Civic and took the long way home so that I could sing along with my music and enjoy just being out of the house. I also enjoyed the fact that I was driving directly toward the over sized moon. So pretty.
Soon after, I forgot about the moon and got preoccupied with the traffic. Weaving in and out of the lanes and being careful not to hit anyone, the fact that the moon was shining so brightly didn't really matter to me anymore. I turned on my road and noticed something blinding out of the corner of my eye. I said out loud, "the moon is following me!" I laughed. I could see it through the shadow of the trees and through the breaks in the houses down the row.
I've been in my room for quite some time now and I've kept noticing that I can still see the white light blaring through my closed blinds. I ignored it though, it's just the moon. Checking my Yahoo page, I noticed that there was an article entitled, "Year's Biggest Full Moon Friday Night." I opened my blinds at this reminder and low and behold, I have the perfect view of it through the trees outside of my window. I am enchanted.
It is ever-present, always watching me from the sky above. It does not flinch, it does not hide. Of course, things get in its way, but it will never leave. I ignored it because of my surroundings and because well, it's just the moon, right? It's beauty is haunting, magnificent, bright. Even though it's wonder never ceases to exist, sometimes we rediscover just how amazing it is.
Oh, what a parallel. :]
Saturday, December 6, 2008
We're All the Same
Before I start this next post's topic, I want to say that I was tempted several times to go back and change, delete, or lessen the last post's message. I kept thinking that maybe I was too extreme, too bold, or too "Jesus-freakish," and I should have written less. Even though I still worry and am a bit embarrassed to show this blog to anyone and everyone, I haven't changed it. I think what I wrote about last time is something that many girls I know go through, and I feel like I needed to speak up and remind them just how loved they really are. So, I won't touch it. I really just want to do what God pushes me to.
Which brings me to the next topic. I've been asking God what the next post should be about, and I really didn't get anything from Him. Of course I have my own ideas that one day, I hope I'll post, but I don't want to reveal those yet. Earlier this evening, I was cleaning and I remembered this song that I absolutely love, so I put it on. As it was playing I listened to the lyrics carefully and felt that God wanted to say something through this song.
I've had a few other 'secular' songs really speak to me before, like One Republic's "Come Home,"
and the Bon Jovi song that I mentioned earlier. This particular song became famous because it was used with the "Free Hugs Campaign" video that surfaced on the internet. That's right, "All the Same" by the Sick Puppies. I don't know how religious, or anti-religious, this group really is, but this song speaks volumes about God's love for us. It really is like a love song.
I want to go through the song and break it down just to show you how God is speaking.
"I don't mind where you come from/ as long as you come to me"
God does not care what we've done in our past, as long as we come to Him for repentance and give our lives to Him. He doesn't care where we've come from -- meaning race, gender, past beliefs, past behaviors, whatever. He just wants us to come to Him. "I will call them 'my people' who are not my people; and I will call her 'my loved one' who is not my loved one," - Romans 9:25
"I don't like illusions I can't see/them clearly"
Like most of us, God doesn't like a liar. He doesn't want us to hide our feelings from Him or pretend that we agree with what's happening in our lives. He wants us to be upfront and real with Him. He doesn't want us to go day in and day out doing the "church thing" without actually seeking Him. He wants us to seriously pursue Him with all of our hearts. I always remember Job when I think about being honest with God. Through all of his pain and suffering, he did not once agree with what God was doing in his life. He was upfront and real with Him about how much pain he was going though. He was honestly seeking God for answers. God won't answer those who don't seek Him with their full hearts.
"I don't care no I wouldn't dare/ To fix the twist in you"
This touches on what I talked about in my last post. God created us to be who we are. Every freckle, every unwanted hair, every crease is how God would have it to be. Even our very personalities were formed by God. No matter how stubborn or how much we dislike our bodies, He wouldn't dare have it any other way.
"You've shown me eventually/What you'll do"
Every action and every reaction we make, God knows about it. He not only knows what we will do tomorrow, but He knows what we will do a week, three months, and ten years from now.
"I don't mind.../I don't care.../As long as you're here!"
I love this line because it truly shows God's love for us, no matter where or who we've been. As long as we are dancing with and in relationship with Him, He can overlook what harm we've done and restore our hearts.
"Go ahead tell me you'll leave again/You'll just come back running/Holding your scarred heart in hand"
If any of my readers are like me, they know there are times in which they feel like giving up and throwing in the towel; Giving up trying to do the right thing; giving up trying to please God. Our fallen nature always convinces us that when life is hard, we must run away from or rebel against Him. Many of us think that God is the One who is doing the harming or think that He is cruel. So we leave. We give up. But God knows better. He knows that He is the Way, the Truth and the Life. Eventually, when we want to get back to the Truth and get back to Love, we will come running, holding our scarred and unprotected hearts in our hands.
"And I'll take you for who you are/If you take me for everything/Do it all over again/It's all the same"
Again, God will take us for just who we are. He will love and accept my sinfulness, my jealousy, my depression, and my self-esteem problems; but only if I accept Him as my Savior, my Everything. Even if I run away or rebel against Him again and again, He will accept me again and again without hesitation.
"Hours slide and days go by/Till you decide to come/And in between it always seems too long"
This stanza shows the romance between us and God. No matter how long we are "away from" God, to Him, it seems like an eternity when we are not walking with Him.
"And I have the skill, yeah I have the will/To breathe you in while I can/However long you stay/Is all that I am"
This line seems a bit more difficult to understand, but I believe that it's saying that God has the power to change and transform our lives if we let Him.
"Wrong or right/Black or white/If I close my eyes/It's all the same"
Again, no matter if we are on the right or the wrong "side" of life, no matter our skin color, or our differences, it's all the same to God. He loves us as His own.
"In my life/The compromise/I close my eyes/It's all the same"
This part of the song kind of echoes, and I feel like this line is something we say when we start to wonder what is more important to us. We can compromise and give in to the ways of the world -- greed, lust, jealousy, anger, etc. Or, we can "close our eyes" to it and reopen them to a New Life.
If you are interested in hearing the song, you can listen to it here.
I hope that you will listen and enjoy it, not only because I love it, but because it really is like a love song from God.
Which brings me to the next topic. I've been asking God what the next post should be about, and I really didn't get anything from Him. Of course I have my own ideas that one day, I hope I'll post, but I don't want to reveal those yet. Earlier this evening, I was cleaning and I remembered this song that I absolutely love, so I put it on. As it was playing I listened to the lyrics carefully and felt that God wanted to say something through this song.
I've had a few other 'secular' songs really speak to me before, like One Republic's "Come Home,"
and the Bon Jovi song that I mentioned earlier. This particular song became famous because it was used with the "Free Hugs Campaign" video that surfaced on the internet. That's right, "All the Same" by the Sick Puppies. I don't know how religious, or anti-religious, this group really is, but this song speaks volumes about God's love for us. It really is like a love song.
I want to go through the song and break it down just to show you how God is speaking.
"I don't mind where you come from/ as long as you come to me"
God does not care what we've done in our past, as long as we come to Him for repentance and give our lives to Him. He doesn't care where we've come from -- meaning race, gender, past beliefs, past behaviors, whatever. He just wants us to come to Him. "I will call them 'my people' who are not my people; and I will call her 'my loved one' who is not my loved one," - Romans 9:25
"I don't like illusions I can't see/them clearly"
Like most of us, God doesn't like a liar. He doesn't want us to hide our feelings from Him or pretend that we agree with what's happening in our lives. He wants us to be upfront and real with Him. He doesn't want us to go day in and day out doing the "church thing" without actually seeking Him. He wants us to seriously pursue Him with all of our hearts. I always remember Job when I think about being honest with God. Through all of his pain and suffering, he did not once agree with what God was doing in his life. He was upfront and real with Him about how much pain he was going though. He was honestly seeking God for answers. God won't answer those who don't seek Him with their full hearts.
"I don't care no I wouldn't dare/ To fix the twist in you"
This touches on what I talked about in my last post. God created us to be who we are. Every freckle, every unwanted hair, every crease is how God would have it to be. Even our very personalities were formed by God. No matter how stubborn or how much we dislike our bodies, He wouldn't dare have it any other way.
"You've shown me eventually/What you'll do"
Every action and every reaction we make, God knows about it. He not only knows what we will do tomorrow, but He knows what we will do a week, three months, and ten years from now.
"I don't mind.../I don't care.../As long as you're here!"
I love this line because it truly shows God's love for us, no matter where or who we've been. As long as we are dancing with and in relationship with Him, He can overlook what harm we've done and restore our hearts.
"Go ahead tell me you'll leave again/You'll just come back running/Holding your scarred heart in hand"
If any of my readers are like me, they know there are times in which they feel like giving up and throwing in the towel; Giving up trying to do the right thing; giving up trying to please God. Our fallen nature always convinces us that when life is hard, we must run away from or rebel against Him. Many of us think that God is the One who is doing the harming or think that He is cruel. So we leave. We give up. But God knows better. He knows that He is the Way, the Truth and the Life. Eventually, when we want to get back to the Truth and get back to Love, we will come running, holding our scarred and unprotected hearts in our hands.
"And I'll take you for who you are/If you take me for everything/Do it all over again/It's all the same"
Again, God will take us for just who we are. He will love and accept my sinfulness, my jealousy, my depression, and my self-esteem problems; but only if I accept Him as my Savior, my Everything. Even if I run away or rebel against Him again and again, He will accept me again and again without hesitation.
"Hours slide and days go by/Till you decide to come/And in between it always seems too long"
This stanza shows the romance between us and God. No matter how long we are "away from" God, to Him, it seems like an eternity when we are not walking with Him.
"And I have the skill, yeah I have the will/To breathe you in while I can/However long you stay/Is all that I am"
This line seems a bit more difficult to understand, but I believe that it's saying that God has the power to change and transform our lives if we let Him.
"Wrong or right/Black or white/If I close my eyes/It's all the same"
Again, no matter if we are on the right or the wrong "side" of life, no matter our skin color, or our differences, it's all the same to God. He loves us as His own.
"In my life/The compromise/I close my eyes/It's all the same"
This part of the song kind of echoes, and I feel like this line is something we say when we start to wonder what is more important to us. We can compromise and give in to the ways of the world -- greed, lust, jealousy, anger, etc. Or, we can "close our eyes" to it and reopen them to a New Life.
If you are interested in hearing the song, you can listen to it here.
I hope that you will listen and enjoy it, not only because I love it, but because it really is like a love song from God.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Do You Think I'm Beautiful?
These past couple of days I have been reveling in what God has done through this blog and how He has answered my prayers. Even though I have been somewhat joyful, there has been something on my mind that constantly nags at me, even as I type. I'm not sure that God has urged me to write about this, but I feel that I need to, not just for myself but for my friends.
For a long time, I didn't feel like I was beautiful. In fact, I was convinced that I could be quite ugly. My hair wasn't the right color, my stomach wasn't flat enough, and my face was full of imperfections. I focused so hard on my faults that I forgot to let my true beauty shine through my actions and words. Instead, I took things too personally and shrunk and hid inside of my shame. The fear of having someone find out all of my faults and reject me for them was extremely overwhelming, so I tried my very best to make myself look good without actually taking any risks.
This state of mind developed in middle school (possibly the worst time in any girl's life) and continued through high school. No one ever told me that it was OK to have flaws and to be confident in myself despite them. That concept was something I only grasped at but never touched. I always wanted to be a confident beautiful woman, but I never thought that it was possible. I wanted to continue living quietly, being shy and hiding my faults.
I have to admit, as I write this I feel an overwhelming pit in my stomach. Reading over my paragraphs, I know I have fallen back into the same old routine. Most days, I feel inadequate. I know what the picture of beauty is, and I feel that I am far from it. When I look in the mirror and see my acne scars and the newly appearing blemishes, the unwanted weight... I feel like screaming, "WHO IS THIS?!" in disgust.
But so what?
Did you know that God is enthralled with me? I mean captivated, head over heels, amazed by me. To God, I am beautiful.
"Listen, O daughter, consider and give ear; forget your people and your father's house. The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor Him, for He is your lord." Psalm 45:10-11
"I made her. She is different. She's unique. With love I formed her in my mother's womb. I fashioned her with great joy. I remember, with great pleasure, the day I created her." -Psalm 139:13-16
Even though I may not be a drop dead beautiful woman according to the world, may not be outgoing enough to make many friends here at UGA, and I may be making D's in my classes, God knew when he made me that in order to be the most beautiful woman, He could not give me everything this world considers desirable.
"I made her pretty and not beautiful, smart not brilliant, because I knew her heart. I knew she would be vain and proud. I wanted her to search out her heart and learn that it would be ME in her that would make her beautiful...and it would be ME in her that would draw friends to her." - 1 Peter 3:3-5
You see, it is not smooth clear skin, highlighted hair, or nice clothes that make you beautiful. No. It is GOD that puts a beauty within us that accentuates and overshadows our outside beauty. It is God within me that makes me worth it.
God LOVES you the way He made you. He doesn't see the scars, the flab, or the crookedness. He doesn't see the ugliness that you may see in yourself. He LOVES you.
"I love her smile. I love her ways. I love to hear her laugh. And the silly things she says and does. She brings me great pleasure. This is how I made her." - Psalm 139:17, Zephaniah 3:17, Psalm 18:19
When you make a dumb joke that no one else seems to get, God loves it. When you dance, when you laugh, when you twirl in the snow... God is right there with you loving you and loving the moment. He is so in love with you.
I am now realizing that the pain and frustration I was feeling earlier has left my heart. I was so silly to even put so much of my self-worth into something as trivial as my physical flaws.
I thank GOD for showing me how He feels about me and you. I thank Him for being so amazing and loving in every way. God knows the brokenness I go through. God knows when I am in pain. He knows when I am hurt because of my foolishness.
"Because I love her, I have seen her broken heart, and the tears she's cried alone. I have cried with her, and had a broken heart, too." -Psalm 56:8
You are beautiful. God is enthralled with you. Dance in the joy of His delight.
I want to thank Danee, Margaret, and Angela Thomas for giving me the materials and inspiration for this post. You have lifted me up so high that I began to reach for God and forgot to look down.
For a long time, I didn't feel like I was beautiful. In fact, I was convinced that I could be quite ugly. My hair wasn't the right color, my stomach wasn't flat enough, and my face was full of imperfections. I focused so hard on my faults that I forgot to let my true beauty shine through my actions and words. Instead, I took things too personally and shrunk and hid inside of my shame. The fear of having someone find out all of my faults and reject me for them was extremely overwhelming, so I tried my very best to make myself look good without actually taking any risks.
This state of mind developed in middle school (possibly the worst time in any girl's life) and continued through high school. No one ever told me that it was OK to have flaws and to be confident in myself despite them. That concept was something I only grasped at but never touched. I always wanted to be a confident beautiful woman, but I never thought that it was possible. I wanted to continue living quietly, being shy and hiding my faults.
I have to admit, as I write this I feel an overwhelming pit in my stomach. Reading over my paragraphs, I know I have fallen back into the same old routine. Most days, I feel inadequate. I know what the picture of beauty is, and I feel that I am far from it. When I look in the mirror and see my acne scars and the newly appearing blemishes, the unwanted weight... I feel like screaming, "WHO IS THIS?!" in disgust.
But so what?
Did you know that God is enthralled with me? I mean captivated, head over heels, amazed by me. To God, I am beautiful.
"Listen, O daughter, consider and give ear; forget your people and your father's house. The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor Him, for He is your lord." Psalm 45:10-11
"I made her. She is different. She's unique. With love I formed her in my mother's womb. I fashioned her with great joy. I remember, with great pleasure, the day I created her." -Psalm 139:13-16
Even though I may not be a drop dead beautiful woman according to the world, may not be outgoing enough to make many friends here at UGA, and I may be making D's in my classes, God knew when he made me that in order to be the most beautiful woman, He could not give me everything this world considers desirable.
"I made her pretty and not beautiful, smart not brilliant, because I knew her heart. I knew she would be vain and proud. I wanted her to search out her heart and learn that it would be ME in her that would make her beautiful...and it would be ME in her that would draw friends to her." - 1 Peter 3:3-5
You see, it is not smooth clear skin, highlighted hair, or nice clothes that make you beautiful. No. It is GOD that puts a beauty within us that accentuates and overshadows our outside beauty. It is God within me that makes me worth it.
God LOVES you the way He made you. He doesn't see the scars, the flab, or the crookedness. He doesn't see the ugliness that you may see in yourself. He LOVES you.
"I love her smile. I love her ways. I love to hear her laugh. And the silly things she says and does. She brings me great pleasure. This is how I made her." - Psalm 139:17, Zephaniah 3:17, Psalm 18:19
When you make a dumb joke that no one else seems to get, God loves it. When you dance, when you laugh, when you twirl in the snow... God is right there with you loving you and loving the moment. He is so in love with you.
I am now realizing that the pain and frustration I was feeling earlier has left my heart. I was so silly to even put so much of my self-worth into something as trivial as my physical flaws.
I thank GOD for showing me how He feels about me and you. I thank Him for being so amazing and loving in every way. God knows the brokenness I go through. God knows when I am in pain. He knows when I am hurt because of my foolishness.
"Because I love her, I have seen her broken heart, and the tears she's cried alone. I have cried with her, and had a broken heart, too." -Psalm 56:8
You are beautiful. God is enthralled with you. Dance in the joy of His delight.
I want to thank Danee, Margaret, and Angela Thomas for giving me the materials and inspiration for this post. You have lifted me up so high that I began to reach for God and forgot to look down.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Blown Away
It's only been a little more than a year that I have been following after Him seriously. But in those few short months, there have been so many times in which I have been blown away by God. Things that might seem commonplace or not important to others, have been messages or answers by God. For example, I was going to get lunch one morning at the dining hall and I was feeling completely bewildered and alone, like God wasn't with me at all. I said a quiet prayer while I was walking up the staircase, "please God, just show me you're with me. I want to feel your presence, to feel that you are here with me instead of just knowing." As soon as I got to the top of the stairs, Bon Jovi's "I'll Be There for You" started playing in my head. I didn't even realize the significance of it until I was through the lunch line and filling up my glass. I had a "facepalm" moment just then when I carefully went through the lyrics in my head:
When I realized what God was saying to me, I wanted to tear up. I hadn't heard or thought about this song in ages, and it suddenly popped into my mind at such a pivitol moment... God is amazing.
Some might say, "oh, that's a coincidence. You probably heard the song playing in the background somewhere and it stuck in your mind." Well, that might be true, but why then did I suddenly hear it in my mind only after praying that prayer? It is truly wonderful.
Anyway, the real reason I felt compelled to write this afternoon about this certain topic is because of what my cousin sent me last night.
After I had finished writing my first post here, I walked away from my computer and was feeling pretty happy about my decision to make this blog. But then something hit me. I was unsure if there was any purpose to it. "Who's going to read it? What if no one ever does? Will I lose interest?" I also then began to doubt my talents and asked God to show me what makes me so beautiful, if that's the case.
When I got to bed, I was getting ready to snuggle up and read my New Moon book. But before I started reading, I decided to check for any e-mail I might have gotten on my phone. (Internet on my phone is really very handy!) Good thing I checked... My cousin sent me an e-mail. It sent panic through my body.
I couldn't contain myself when I read the last two paragraphs. Not only did God use a song to comfort my cousin like He had for me, but through her story and her words, He confirmed the purpose of my life and the talent He has given me. It is ironic that my cousin's words were used to speak to me, when she was telling me that my words could be used to speak to someone. God has blown me away yet again, in such a timely manner. Praise God for His unfailing love and beautiful heart!! I am in love with my Savior.
I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what love can do
I'll be there for you
...I'll be the water when you get thirsty, baby
When you get drunk, I'll be the wine
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what love can do
I'll be there for you
...I'll be the water when you get thirsty, baby
When you get drunk, I'll be the wine
When I realized what God was saying to me, I wanted to tear up. I hadn't heard or thought about this song in ages, and it suddenly popped into my mind at such a pivitol moment... God is amazing.
Some might say, "oh, that's a coincidence. You probably heard the song playing in the background somewhere and it stuck in your mind." Well, that might be true, but why then did I suddenly hear it in my mind only after praying that prayer? It is truly wonderful.
Anyway, the real reason I felt compelled to write this afternoon about this certain topic is because of what my cousin sent me last night.
After I had finished writing my first post here, I walked away from my computer and was feeling pretty happy about my decision to make this blog. But then something hit me. I was unsure if there was any purpose to it. "Who's going to read it? What if no one ever does? Will I lose interest?" I also then began to doubt my talents and asked God to show me what makes me so beautiful, if that's the case.
When I got to bed, I was getting ready to snuggle up and read my New Moon book. But before I started reading, I decided to check for any e-mail I might have gotten on my phone. (Internet on my phone is really very handy!) Good thing I checked... My cousin sent me an e-mail. It sent panic through my body.
"I was in the mammo office and got the pictures taken, then told to wait. They come back and took more and told me to wait in the cubby you change in.
I could hear the Doctor dictate his findings. He was saying there is cancer in the right breast. That is what I was there for-the right.
My heart started to beat fast and I could feel myself silently freak out. I was waiting forever. They finally took me for the sono. They won't tell you if your ok. So she said she was going to get the Dr. He was doing a biopsy.
This song came on (No one by Alicia Keyes). She sang the words- Everything's gonna be all right. A peace from God came over me. Praise the Lord he uses words of a song to minister to us. Of course the Dr. comes in and said everything looks good.
That is why your writing is so important and God given and your purpose in life. You never know when the Lord will use your words to speak to someone."
I could hear the Doctor dictate his findings. He was saying there is cancer in the right breast. That is what I was there for-the right.
My heart started to beat fast and I could feel myself silently freak out. I was waiting forever. They finally took me for the sono. They won't tell you if your ok. So she said she was going to get the Dr. He was doing a biopsy.
This song came on (No one by Alicia Keyes). She sang the words- Everything's gonna be all right. A peace from God came over me. Praise the Lord he uses words of a song to minister to us. Of course the Dr. comes in and said everything looks good.
That is why your writing is so important and God given and your purpose in life. You never know when the Lord will use your words to speak to someone."
I couldn't contain myself when I read the last two paragraphs. Not only did God use a song to comfort my cousin like He had for me, but through her story and her words, He confirmed the purpose of my life and the talent He has given me. It is ironic that my cousin's words were used to speak to me, when she was telling me that my words could be used to speak to someone. God has blown me away yet again, in such a timely manner. Praise God for His unfailing love and beautiful heart!! I am in love with my Savior.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
God's Lesson Plan
Most of the blogs I have started in the past, had a definite purpose -- that is, I had a good picture of what I wanted to put in it. I'm not saying that this blog is completely directionless or uninspired, it's just... up to God. Whatever I may come across in God's word, whatever He may show me at any moment that sparks inspiration and contemplation, I will write about.
For too long I have been ignoring what, I believe, I was put on earth to do -- write. Why would anyone ignore a talent God himself has bestowed upon them? It's like a bird never flying, or Da Vinci never painting a single masterpiece. I am far from any Da Vinci, but I believe I should use what I have, and that is writing.
My mom is a teacher. (I get annoyed writing that sentence because I have heard her use "I'm a teacher" for too many excuses and reasons for why she can't do something.) Every week, she has to plan out what she wants to accomplish for the next week with her kids. She has to be thorough and thoughtful; she has to know how her kids will behave during the activities that she has them do; she must take into account the way they learn; and she must first and foremost have an idea of what is best for them.
God is a teacher too. He has a plan for each and every one of us. He knows how we will react, how we need to learn certain lessons, what we need and don't need, and He knows what is best for us. This blog, I feel, will be a way to map out His lesson plan for me -- a way to see what I am learning, how I am growing, and what lessons I've learned. It's like my mom's students trying to peek at her lesson plans, trying to find out her objectives. Luckily, in my case, I don't have to sneak around. My teacher is gracious and willing to tell me exactly what He wants me to know.
I hope this blog is not one that I forget about or leave unwritten. I think that through all the years of my blogging, I haven't had a subject quite as important as this.
What does God have in store this week? I can't wait to write in my lesson plan.
For too long I have been ignoring what, I believe, I was put on earth to do -- write. Why would anyone ignore a talent God himself has bestowed upon them? It's like a bird never flying, or Da Vinci never painting a single masterpiece. I am far from any Da Vinci, but I believe I should use what I have, and that is writing.
My mom is a teacher. (I get annoyed writing that sentence because I have heard her use "I'm a teacher" for too many excuses and reasons for why she can't do something.) Every week, she has to plan out what she wants to accomplish for the next week with her kids. She has to be thorough and thoughtful; she has to know how her kids will behave during the activities that she has them do; she must take into account the way they learn; and she must first and foremost have an idea of what is best for them.
God is a teacher too. He has a plan for each and every one of us. He knows how we will react, how we need to learn certain lessons, what we need and don't need, and He knows what is best for us. This blog, I feel, will be a way to map out His lesson plan for me -- a way to see what I am learning, how I am growing, and what lessons I've learned. It's like my mom's students trying to peek at her lesson plans, trying to find out her objectives. Luckily, in my case, I don't have to sneak around. My teacher is gracious and willing to tell me exactly what He wants me to know.
I hope this blog is not one that I forget about or leave unwritten. I think that through all the years of my blogging, I haven't had a subject quite as important as this.
What does God have in store this week? I can't wait to write in my lesson plan.
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