Do You Think I'm Beautiful?

These past couple of days I have been reveling in what God has done through this blog and how He has answered my prayers. Even though I have been somewhat joyful, there has been something on my mind that constantly nags at me, even as I type. I'm not sure that God has urged me to write about this, but I feel that I need to, not just for myself but for my friends.

For a long time, I didn't feel like I was beautiful. In fact, I was convinced that I could be quite ugly. My hair wasn't the right color, my stomach wasn't flat enough, and my face was full of imperfections. I focused so hard on my faults that I forgot to let my true beauty shine through my actions and words. Instead, I took things too personally and shrunk and hid inside of my shame. The fear of having someone find out all of my faults and reject me for them was extremely overwhelming, so I tried my very best to make myself look good without actually taking any risks.

This state of mind developed in middle school (possibly the worst time in any girl's life) and continued through high school. No one ever told me that it was OK to have flaws and to be confident in myself despite them. That concept was something I only grasped at but never touched. I always wanted to be a confident beautiful woman, but I never thought that it was possible. I wanted to continue living quietly, being shy and hiding my faults.

I have to admit, as I write this I feel an overwhelming pit in my stomach. Reading over my paragraphs, I know I have fallen back into the same old routine. Most days, I feel inadequate. I know what the picture of beauty is, and I feel that I am far from it. When I look in the mirror and see my acne scars and the newly appearing blemishes, the unwanted weight... I feel like screaming, "WHO IS THIS?!" in disgust.

But so what?



Did you know that God is enthralled with me? I mean captivated, head over heels, amazed by me. To God, I am beautiful.

"Listen, O daughter, consider and give ear; forget your people and your father's house. The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor Him, for He is your lord." Psalm 45:10-11

"I made her. She is different. She's unique. With love I formed her in my mother's womb. I fashioned her with great joy. I remember, with great pleasure, the day I created her." -Psalm 139:13-16

Even though I may not be a drop dead beautiful woman according to the world, may not be outgoing enough to make many friends here at UGA, and I may be making D's in my classes, God knew when he made me that in order to be the most beautiful woman, He could not give me everything this world considers desirable.

"I made her pretty and not beautiful, smart not brilliant, because I knew her heart. I knew she would be vain and proud. I wanted her to search out her heart and learn that it would be ME in her that would make her beautiful...and it would be ME in her that would draw friends to her." - 1 Peter 3:3-5

You see, it is not smooth clear skin, highlighted hair, or nice clothes that make you beautiful. No. It is GOD that puts a beauty within us that accentuates and overshadows our outside beauty. It is God within me that makes me worth it.

God LOVES you the way He made you. He doesn't see the scars, the flab, or the crookedness. He doesn't see the ugliness that you may see in yourself. He LOVES you.

"I love her smile. I love her ways. I love to hear her laugh. And the silly things she says and does. She brings me great pleasure. This is how I made her." - Psalm 139:17, Zephaniah 3:17, Psalm 18:19

When you make a dumb joke that no one else seems to get, God loves it. When you dance, when you laugh, when you twirl in the snow... God is right there with you loving you and loving the moment. He is so in love with you.

I am now realizing that the pain and frustration I was feeling earlier has left my heart. I was so silly to even put so much of my self-worth into something as trivial as my physical flaws.

I thank GOD for showing me how He feels about me and you. I thank Him for being so amazing and loving in every way. God knows the brokenness I go through. God knows when I am in pain. He knows when I am hurt because of my foolishness.

"Because I love her, I have seen her broken heart, and the tears she's cried alone. I have cried with her, and had a broken heart, too." -Psalm 56:8

You are beautiful. God is enthralled with you. Dance in the joy of His delight.


I want to thank Danee, Margaret, and Angela Thomas for giving me the materials and inspiration for this post. You have lifted me up so high that I began to reach for God and forgot to look down.