My Side of the Bargain

It's been nearly six years since I began seriously following Jesus...and it has be a phenomenal six years. I won't recount every blessing he's bestowed upon me because they're too numerous and too BIG to write with my useless little words.

But what I can say is that my love for Him has grown stronger and hasn't waned. God, no matter how far I push myself away from him in sin and disbelief, always comes for me. His arms never close to me.

His blessings have been overflowing since I took a small leap of faith in November 2010 and January 2011. Overflowing -- meaning never-ending, surprising and overwhelming. I've been brought to the place where I'm supposed to be, and I can say that with not an ounce of doubt. How many people can say that they are where they're supposed to be? How many can say they are exactly where God wants them?
I count myself extremely blessed for being able to say and know that I am. I feel spoiled by my Father.

But now that I've reached this place and I've begun a new life, one He's given to me, I'm beginning to feel...ready.

What for?

I'm not sure. But my question to God is, "What will you have me do?"

I've always said I was ready to do God's will for my life -- but it wasn't until Friday that I started getting a burning in my chest to do good for God...whatever that means.

Friday I drove in to New York City to go to The Gate, Times Square Church's youth meeting. The sermon was about how God is good, all the time, through all our sorrows -- a very hard concept to grasp when bad things are happening all around us. He reminded me that God wants to do good toward us, he delights in us. He loves us.
And again, I was reminded that the reason we are here, the point to life, is to love one another and share God's love with others...to do good to others.

It hit me then, "what am I doing with my life?" Day in and day out, I worry and worry and work and work, but what am I doing for God? What am I doing in the grand scheme of things?

In the end, none of what I worry about matters. Everything is of Him and for Him. I am literally nothing without Him... I am weak and scared, but only through Him I have found strength and confidence. When I go after His heart, everything falls into place. He provides all I need.

I realized that night that I haven't been reaching out to others...and it is time. Maybe it wasn't supposed to happen until now. Maybe I had to get to this place where I am relatively stable and have some ground here.

What will you have me do, Lord? It's time to fulfill my side of the bargain.