Thursday, January 29, 2009

Something to Smile About

I would like to write about God's Grace today. No matter how many times we screw up, God always provides for us. He always makes a way. It is very easy to just thank God and move on and forget what He has done for us, but I want to stress the importance of remembering His mercy and acknowledging that without Him, we would be lost.

For the past few weeks, I have been dealing with feelings of anxiety and continuous worry. When I get something in my head, it's difficult for it to leave. The enemy always uses my worst tendencies to keep me jailed in my head. But, I am so undeniably favored by God. When it seems like there is no way out, and it seems like none of your prayers are being answered... He comes to the rescue and gives us grace and forgiveness that we certainly do not deserve.

How many times can God forgive me for being so doubtful, so disobedient and so forgetful? Too many. He forgives me when I should not have any forgiveness left. He forgives me when the idea of giving me one more chance should be laughable. If my life was in the hands of man, I would be shackled and scorned. But my life does not belong to this world. It belongs to my Creator who loves and showers me with His grace.

How many times have we forgotten how good God is? How many times have we been blessed but turned around and slapped God in the face with our doubt and disobedience?

God does not keep grudges. "I will show loving-kindness to them and forgive their sins. I will remember their sins no more." Jeremiah 31:34

God always delivers. God always provides. God always forgives, God never lies. :]

Sunday, January 11, 2009

There is Hope in Your Name

When we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior, not only are we saved from our sins and begin a new life, but we are given hope. This sense of hope inspires so many people... it is truly what makes belonging to God feel so wonderful. Without the salvation of Jesus, we would be lost; lost to the evils and temptations of this world. Lost in a cloud of doubt and hopelessness. I'm sure you know what I mean.

"She carelessly threw her cell phone to the floor and wound herself tightly in a ball. No matter how hard she tried to keep the thoughts from running away with her sanity, she couldn’t keep them from passing through the barrier. Her face was blank at first, not a sign of emotion to be seen. But when the thought she had been trying to avoid at all costs came to light, her eyes shut tightly, her mouth formed a grimace, and tears streamed sideways toward the comforter."


This is what it's like when you have no hope. All you want to do is give in to the pain because you "know" that there is nothing more that you can do. Last night was a tough night for me. I had been thinking about a lot of things that had been really bugging me in the past week, and they all seemed to team up on me and completely tear me down. Of course, at the time, I couldn't put a finger on what the issue was... until my cousin asked me what was wrong. I thought about it and knew exactly what I was dealing with: self-worth.
I was doubting myself in the worst ways possible. I literally felt as if I was worthless. But why? I started regretting things I have done, things I should have done but didn't, and started to tear my appearance to shreds. I began to think that I've really screwed up, that there is no way to fix what I've done and no way that I, me as a person, could possibly get better. But I was forgetting something... no, I was avoiding someone. I knew the answer was inside of me, waiting to get His hold on me, and I denied Him access.
In my pain, I had written a two paragraph story to get my feelings of hopelessness out. I haven't written in like that in a couple of years -- I was unsure it was what I should be doing, but I did it slowly and couldn't believe the end result. It wasn't until my cousin told me to write my feelings out that I knew God was reaching out to me. I needed to go to church, I needed God.

And today, the last song we sang before the congregation sat down was this:

In the name of the Father
In the name of the Son
In the name of the Spirit
Lord we've come

We're gathered together
To lift up Your name
To call on our Savior
To fall on Your grace

Hear the joyful sound of our offering
As your saints bow down, as your people sing
We will rise with You, lifted on Your wings
And the world will see that

Our God saves, our God saves
There is hope in Your name

Mourning turns to songs of praise
Our God saves, our God saves, yeah


While we were singing this song that I had never heard before, one line stood out to me and my lip began to quiver. "There is hope in Your name." I repeated it to myself maybe one hundred times. Everything that had plagued me the night before became pebbles compared to the boulder that God is. Just because I have many flaws in my appearance, just because I cannot say what I want to say in the way I want to say it, just because I have made big mistakes, doesn't mean that one day, Jesus won't deliver me from it all. Because He will. I am not in this predicament forever, I still have hope. Our God does save. He saves us from our sadness, anxiety, and our hopelessness.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. -Jeremiah 29:11

Keep this near to you. There is hope and a future, even for those of us who struggle with the lies of the enemy.

Ephesians says it best:

"I pray that your hearts will be able to understand. I pray that you will know about the hope given by God's call. I pray that you will see how great the things are that He has promised to those who belong to Him."

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Praising God for the Sun

I've realized something. Even through the rough waves that knock me over in life, even through the dark, shadowed pain I've gone through...my life is truly beautiful.

I was jogging today in the cold. I had underestimated the wind's wrath against my skin and was surprised when I found myself shivering and clinging to what warmth my jacket provided me. I stopped and figured, "now would be a good time to turn around and go back in." But I didn't. I forced myself to walk. I just kept going. If I had turned around, I wouldn't have accomplished my goal for that day -- to exercise, just a little bit. I would have gone right back inside and would have gone on in my comfort, warm and complacent.
Freezing as I was, I jogged up the hill and reached the top breathless. Oh, how I wanted warmth. How I craved to be back in my bed with the covers up over my head.
The sun. I felt warm. At the top of the hill, the sun was shining so brightly and so radiantly that it was literally like standing on the beach. I stood still. So warm. Standing in the sun's light, I was reluctant to leave it's comfort. Why on earth would I want to continue on in the shade's cold thrashing.

Why on earth would any one want to live on in such coldness? Where life is bleak and hopeless? Where the light is lacking?

My Light comforts me in the midst of the chill. He takes care of me when I need to find shelter. His warmth caresses my cheeks when I begin to think there is no where to hide. I praise God for making this world so beautiful and so full of wonderful moments. I praise God for taking care of me in every single way. I praise God for His Son!

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Patience

Throughout my life, I've always thought of myself as a patient person. I was always o.k. with waiting, not antsy, and generally expected that I'd have to wait for whatever I needed to get. The older I got, the idea that I was patient grew less and less true. I found myself getting all huffy about waiting for too long and generally avoided it at all costs. Once I visited New York City, I don't believe my patience level has ever been the same. I found myself yelling at the cars around me in Cobb to go faster, 'what's the hold up!?'

But the patience I'm talking about right now is not the kind you need to have in line or behind the wheel. It's the patience you must have with God.

If anyone knows about waiting on God, it's me. I cannot tell you just how long I've waited for a certain situation to be resolved. I've tried to solve it on my own, with nothing to show for it; I've tried to use other people's advice, it was useless. It wasn't until I started really listening to God that I heard Him say, "wait."

I struggled with this idea. "Wait? How much longer should I wait? I've been waiting for so long already to be done with this!" But God continued to say, "wait on me."

Even now, in my waiting, my feelings and resolve has been flung back and forth like a yo-yo. What could possibly be done by waiting? What if it is never solved the way I want or need it to be?

God has it under control. Even when we think nothing is happening, God is fighting a battle for us. God will reward us for waiting on Him.

Psalm 37:7-9 says, "Rest in the Lord and be willing to wait for Him. Do not trouble yourself when all goes well with the one who carries out his sinful plans. Stop being angry. Turn away from fighting. Do not trouble yourself. It leads only to wrong-doing. For those who do wrong will be cut off. But those who wait for the Lord will be given the earth."

In my waiting and my troubles, I've grown into an angry person. I cannot continue to harbor feelings of anger or bitterness. It's not something I'm used to or something that I want. I need to have faith in God and wait on Him, and trust that He is on my side fighting.

Hebrews 10:36 says, "You must be willing to wait without giving up. After you have done what God wants you to do, God will give you what he promised you."

Amen. We cannot give up. I have given up once before, and it led me to sin. I can't tell you just how disappointed I was in myself. If I had just kept on being persistent in my waiting on God, instead of rebelling and giving up, maybe I would be farther along than I am now. But because I will not give up now, I have faith that God will deliver what was promised to me.

And of course, Romans 5: 3-4. It's funny, before I even started to think about patience and waiting, one of my friends on Facebook posted this verse on his status. That is when I began to really think about what it means to be patient with God.

"We are glad for our troubles also. We know that troubles help us learn not to give up. When we have learned not to give up, it shows we have stood the test. When we have stood the test, it gives us hope."

Because I know I cannot give up, I have 'stood the test.' There is hope. In waiting for God and having faith in Him, believing without giving up and giving in, there is hope.

Jeremiah 29:11 is one of those verses that everyone recites, but I feel like God has told it to me over and over again. So much so that it's annoying when I hear it, yet still comforting.

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"

I may not be the most patient person in the world by any means, but I know what it is to wait for God and to trust in Him. It may be the hardest thing for one to do, but oh, it is so worth it.

Friday, December 26, 2008

Christmas is Over

This is a bit late but...

Praise GOD for sending His Son Jesus. I couldn't imagine a more wonderful Gift than He.

Friday, December 12, 2008

The Bright Beautiful Moon


Before I sat down to type this, I was out getting groceries for my week. When I came out of Kroger, I noticed that low in the sky was the most beautiful moon I have ever seen, so mysterious yet so humongous. I climbed into my Civic and took the long way home so that I could sing along with my music and enjoy just being out of the house. I also enjoyed the fact that I was driving directly toward the over sized moon. So pretty.
Soon after, I forgot about the moon and got preoccupied with the traffic. Weaving in and out of the lanes and being careful not to hit anyone, the fact that the moon was shining so brightly didn't really matter to me anymore. I turned on my road and noticed something blinding out of the corner of my eye. I said out loud, "the moon is following me!" I laughed. I could see it through the shadow of the trees and through the breaks in the houses down the row.
I've been in my room for quite some time now and I've kept noticing that I can still see the white light blaring through my closed blinds. I ignored it though, it's just the moon. Checking my Yahoo page, I noticed that there was an article entitled, "Year's Biggest Full Moon Friday Night." I opened my blinds at this reminder and low and behold, I have the perfect view of it through the trees outside of my window. I am enchanted.

It is ever-present, always watching me from the sky above. It does not flinch, it does not hide. Of course, things get in its way, but it will never leave. I ignored it because of my surroundings and because well, it's just the moon, right? It's beauty is haunting, magnificent, bright. Even though it's wonder never ceases to exist, sometimes we rediscover just how amazing it is.

Oh, what a parallel. :]

Saturday, December 6, 2008

We're All the Same

Before I start this next post's topic, I want to say that I was tempted several times to go back and change, delete, or lessen the last post's message. I kept thinking that maybe I was too extreme, too bold, or too "Jesus-freakish," and I should have written less. Even though I still worry and am a bit embarrassed to show this blog to anyone and everyone, I haven't changed it. I think what I wrote about last time is something that many girls I know go through, and I feel like I needed to speak up and remind them just how loved they really are. So, I won't touch it. I really just want to do what God pushes me to.

Which brings me to the next topic. I've been asking God what the next post should be about, and I really didn't get anything from Him. Of course I have my own ideas that one day, I hope I'll post, but I don't want to reveal those yet. Earlier this evening, I was cleaning and I remembered this song that I absolutely love, so I put it on. As it was playing I listened to the lyrics carefully and felt that God wanted to say something through this song.

I've had a few other 'secular' songs really speak to me before, like One Republic's "Come Home,"
and the Bon Jovi song that I mentioned earlier. This particular song became famous because it was used with the "Free Hugs Campaign" video that surfaced on the internet. That's right, "All the Same" by the Sick Puppies. I don't know how religious, or anti-religious, this group really is, but this song speaks volumes about God's love for us. It really is like a love song.

I want to go through the song and break it down just to show you how God is speaking.

"I don't mind where you come from/ as long as you come to me"

God does not care what we've done in our past, as long as we come to Him for repentance and give our lives to Him. He doesn't care where we've come from -- meaning race, gender, past beliefs, past behaviors, whatever. He just wants us to come to Him. "I will call them 'my people' who are not my people; and I will call her 'my loved one' who is not my loved one," - Romans 9:25

"I don't like illusions I can't see/them clearly"

Like most of us, God doesn't like a liar. He doesn't want us to hide our feelings from Him or pretend that we agree with what's happening in our lives. He wants us to be upfront and real with Him. He doesn't want us to go day in and day out doing the "church thing" without actually seeking Him. He wants us to seriously pursue Him with all of our hearts. I always remember Job when I think about being honest with God. Through all of his pain and suffering, he did not once agree with what God was doing in his life. He was upfront and real with Him about how much pain he was going though. He was honestly seeking God for answers. God won't answer those who don't seek Him with their full hearts.

"I don't care no I wouldn't dare/ To fix the twist in you"

This touches on what I talked about in my last post. God created us to be who we are. Every freckle, every unwanted hair, every crease is how God would have it to be. Even our very personalities were formed by God. No matter how stubborn or how much we dislike our bodies, He wouldn't dare have it any other way.

"You've shown me eventually/What you'll do"

Every action and every reaction we make, God knows about it. He not only knows what we will do tomorrow, but He knows what we will do a week, three months, and ten years from now.

"I don't mind.../I don't care.../As long as you're here!"

I love this line because it truly shows God's love for us, no matter where or who we've been. As long as we are dancing with and in relationship with Him, He can overlook what harm we've done and restore our hearts.

"Go ahead tell me you'll leave again/You'll just come back running/Holding your scarred heart in hand"

If any of my readers are like me, they know there are times in which they feel like giving up and throwing in the towel; Giving up trying to do the right thing; giving up trying to please God. Our fallen nature always convinces us that when life is hard, we must run away from or rebel against Him. Many of us think that God is the One who is doing the harming or think that He is cruel. So we leave. We give up. But God knows better. He knows that He is the Way, the Truth and the Life. Eventually, when we want to get back to the Truth and get back to Love, we will come running, holding our scarred and unprotected hearts in our hands.


"And I'll take you for who you are/If you take me for everything/Do it all over again/It's all the same"

Again, God will take us for just who we are. He will love and accept my sinfulness, my jealousy, my depression, and my self-esteem problems; but only if I accept Him as my Savior, my Everything. Even if I run away or rebel against Him again and again, He will accept me again and again without hesitation.

"Hours slide and days go by/Till you decide to come/And in between it always seems too long"

This stanza shows the romance between us and God. No matter how long we are "away from" God, to Him, it seems like an eternity when we are not walking with Him.

"And I have the skill, yeah I have the will/To breathe you in while I can/However long you stay/Is all that I am"

This line seems a bit more difficult to understand, but I believe that it's saying that God has the power to change and transform our lives if we let Him.

"Wrong or right/Black or white/If I close my eyes/It's all the same"

Again, no matter if we are on the right or the wrong "side" of life, no matter our skin color, or our differences, it's all the same to God. He loves us as His own.


"In my life/The compromise/I close my eyes/It's all the same"

This part of the song kind of echoes, and I feel like this line is something we say when we start to wonder what is more important to us. We can compromise and give in to the ways of the world -- greed, lust, jealousy, anger, etc. Or, we can "close our eyes" to it and reopen them to a New Life.


If you are interested in hearing the song, you can listen to it here.
I hope that you will listen and enjoy it, not only because I love it, but because it really is like a love song from God.